i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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