So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
Girls should come with a carfax report
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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