My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
