he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
