i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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