He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
