too bad you live with your parents still
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
high people should be assigned attendants
do herpes really smell.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
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