Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
