Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
