how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
