Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
