Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
