haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
