they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
