Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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