I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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