The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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