2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Randomize
