your thong is hanging out like whoa
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
