VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I came so hard my ears popped.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
