i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize