Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
