rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
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