they need to just BURY HIM!
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
