Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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