what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
