I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
