The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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