I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
