please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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