In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Randomize
