the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
