You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
