It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Randomize
