too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
