Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
