absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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