Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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