Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
