I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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