I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
false alarm, still single
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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