she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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