Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Dear god my vagina.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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