dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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