The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Randomize
