So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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