I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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