We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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