Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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