I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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