Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Randomize
