The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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