no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
This show inspires me to have sex in space
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Randomize
