When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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