Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
