dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
