All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize