I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Drake has all the answers
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Randomize
