You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
i now understand why vodka
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
