We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
