exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Randomize
