No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
