Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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