I got chris browned last night
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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