she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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