I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
