that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Randomize
