spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize