I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
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