i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Randomize
