I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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