Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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