Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
