My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize
