Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize