he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
