i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
